The Power of the Purge – 5 Things I Learned From a Lightning Fast Move

coffee-table-lupita-green-juice

Newly painted coffee table + Lupita + green juice (and white toes)

I had a pretty rapid moving experience recently. Rapid, in that it was less than two weeks from getting notified that my new place was available that I moved. Combined with a lot of other craziness during that time, June/July have been soul-scorchingly insane.

On top of that, I had the Tetris-like task of fitting a 3-bedroom house into a 1-bedroom apartment. Fun.

Let me be clear: I think moving sucks. And moving lightning fast sucks even more, but there are a few things about moving that I really, really enjoy. Things I think are lessons for life and business in general.

5 Things I Learned from a Lightning Fast Move:

1. There is Power in the Purge.

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White sage for the new place. Purity.

Not so long ago, when I had hair — a big, fun, wild, sexy mane of awesome kinky coils — I developed an addiction. To hair products. Despite having sheared off my locks, and rocking a super short boy-cut for the last 4 years, my addiction to hair products remains.

Deciding how to pack my master bathroom in my house was something I avoided for days. It finally came down to me going into the bathroom with a trash bag and one simple question for myself:

“Do I really need this?”

If the answer was anything but a one word enthusiastic affirmative, it was a no.
In the past, when I would ask myself “Do I really need this?” about hair products, the answers ranged from everything from:

“I spent a lot of money on that jar. There’s still $4.67 worth of product left.” …to… “If I grow my hair back out, I’ll need some of this.”

But the answer should have been a very clear “No,” because what I realized was that the mental stress the clutter in my bathroom was causing me cost me way more than the $4.67 worth of product at risk of being thrown away.

This time when I went into my bathroom and asked myself that question, anything that wasn’t a “Hell yes!” was a “no” and the offending product got tossed into the garbage bag.

There’s nothing like getting rid of a bunch of bullshit to help you see what’s most important.

Take that to mean what you want.

2. Action and Positive Pressure Can Create Clarity.

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My family on moving day. My big bro and sister-in-law are behind the camera.

I found out on a Thursday that I would be moving. Twelve days later, I would get my keys and start moving in. Two days after that I was living full time from my new place…with Grumpy. And I didn’t start packing for the move until about a week before my moving day.

Despite the craziness of the time, one phrase suck out in my brain as I prepared for my move:

Simple, comfortable and clutter-free

I knew I didn’t want to take everything from my house and dump it into my apartment and end up with an apartment that looked and felt like my house; overwhelming. I wanted to feel at home again, something I hadn’t quite felt since I moved from my last apartment 3 years ago.

The pressure of the move combined with the ruthless purging created a clarity about what I wanted to take, what I wanted to leave and how I was going to position things in my new place.

You get closer to clarity the more you act towards that goal.

Keyword in that sentence: ACT.

3. It’s Never Too Late to Start Over

For me, sometimes life can feel like I’m sitting in a pit of doom with the weight of all my previous mistakes weighing heavily on me. It can be overwhelming, depressing and an impossible situation to inspire change.

Except that change isn’t something I seek, I need nor something I want. Change is something I am. And you are too.

Every moment you live, you are doing things a little differently. Sometimes these changes are subtle — a new way of thinking, a guilty conscience, etc — and sometimes these changes are massive — quitting something cold turkey, starting a new habit, etc. Simply thinking about doing things differently is the first step towards doing things differently.

For me, moving was the opportunity for a fresh start. A new environment can equal a new routine, a new diet or new acquaintances (“…no new friends, no, no new…”). But the most important element to inspire change is a new outlook, which you get every moment you’re alive. You’re halfway there.

Just tell yourself: it’s never too late to start over.

Never.

4. Constantly Rethink Your “Normal.”

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Grumpy in his favorite spot in the new place; by the patio door.

I have a good friend who worked a job she hated for years, because she was “used to it.” Every morning before she’d go into the office she would say a prayer for God to get her through the day. The day would pass extremely slowly for her, because dealing with her colleagues was a pain in the ass and her boss was horrible to her. Most evenings she’d go home to rest, drink or do other unproductive activities because she was so emotionally drained from the day, she couldn’t do much else.

This was her normal for years.

One mistake people make about “rethinking their normal” is they assume it means making a huge external change and they overlook one of the most important words in the phrase: “reTHINK.”

There’s magic that can happen when you allow yourself to think differently.

For example, a job looks vastly different when you position it as “8 hours that I have to deal with people I hate” vs “the part of my day I spend working for someone else so that I can do what I want for the rest of my day.” So my friend didn’t have to leave her job to have a new “normal.” Repositioning her thoughts about her job, would have been just fine.

Moving is one situation when a lot of people, myself included, start to rethink what’s normal for them, but it’s not required to start thinking about your life differently.

5. Unpack, Then Evaluate.

During the moving process, there was one point when I sat in my office chair exhausted, just looking at my boxes of crap and wondering where the hell everything was going to go. I was overwhelmed and starting to get worried that I didn’t have enough room for everything.

My mistake: I couldn’t possibly figure out where to put things without knowing what was in the boxes. Sure I had a general idea of what things I had, but because I hadn’t unpacked them and examined them in the context of my new space, I didn’t really know where they would fit or IF they had a place in my new life.

If you unpack and examine your shit, it makes finding an appropriate place for it a lot easier.

Again, take that to mean what you want.

Here’s to a wonderful life in a new space — whether that be an awesome new locale with a pool or a sparkling clear new headspace.

Love and light,

Tivi-signature

{photos by Tivi Jones & [my big bro] Charles Jones, Jr.}

Stop Going Against Your Grain – Tips to Help You Discover Your Superpower

The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become,  the stronger you become,  and the happier you become.Raise your hand if any of the following have ever happened to you:

a. You bust your ass to get a new job, a new client or a new opportunity because you really “need” the money, connection, resource or whatever improvement you’re chasing at the moment only to get into the meat of it and realize that it is sooooo not worth it.

b. You’re in dire straits. You have to change. Or you have to do this thing — whatever thing — people are telling you you HAVE to do in order to fix your situation. Everyone has an opinion. Even you. And your opinion is that something big, huge, GINORMOUS is standing in the way of your progress towards the goal you are chasing…and it’s your sneaking suspicion that it’s you.

c. An amazing opportunity is presented to you. A-freakin-mazing. On the surface it’s a “yes.” It seems perfect. Obvious. Wonderful. A no-brainer, thank you very much. It’s just what you need for a breakthrough. Only there’s a teeny, tiny, yet adamant voice in your head that is saying very clearly and decisively “no.”

Anyone ever felt like this?

Each of these has happened to me. Boy-o-boy, these are tales we should have over a glass of wine one day.

These situations hurt. They are über confusing and, if you’re anything like me, they leave you feeling like you must be losing your mind. And I think that is true… Continue reading →

Five Additional Revenue Streams for Service Providers

I’m going to give you the helpful nugget of this post right up front:

Service providers, if you want to:

  • Make more money
  • Grow your business
  • Develop additional revenue streams

You need to learn to monetize your brain!

As a service provider, you aren’t really selling your service. You are selling your experience, your knowledge, time saved and, in some cases, peace of mind.

I’m a marketing and digital operations consultant. I get clients who don’t want to learn how to do what I already know and understand.

Now are there people who won’t want to pay for your service and who will want to do it themselves?

Of freakin’ course. (Right, event planners?) And that’s where the meat of this post comes:

Even if there are people who don’t want to buy your service there are still ways to earn their trust and exchange value with them: a.k.a. monetize your brain! Continue reading →